We haven’t had many punishment spankings lately, but there
will be one happening today.
We’re still unpacking from the move last summer.
I have to spend a lot of time at my work and Lynda is busy
taking care of the boys, especially with the older one who will be graduating
in the spring and headed off to college next year.
So I allowed Lynda to put off unpacking everything else
after we had the essentials put in place. But she hasn’t touched all the boxes
in the room that is supposed to be her art studio. Consequently she isn’t doing much art and we’re
all a little hamstrung because we still have things in boxes that we now
need.
Two weeks ago, I told her it was time to get control of the
rest of our lives. I intend for this whole house to be in working order, with
all possessions put in place, and the room set up for her to do her art.
When she looks at the room full of boxes, it deflates
her. I can see she doesn’t want to do
the job at all. I told her, “I know you’re
busy. You don’t have to tackle it all at once.
Just unload one box every day. I know even that’s not always easy because
it requires you to rearrange things in the house to make room, but you can do
it. One box everyday and we’ll start
making progress.”
We really will.
But she felt extra busy yesterday and started worrying about
the next day’s activities, too. Her anxiety slowed her down and she didn’t get
her one box unpacked yesterday—it was something she didn’t want to do anyway.
It isn’t that she didn’t have time. It’s that she didn’t manage her time
well.
Lynda gets spanked when she doesn’t do what I tell her.
She doesn’t throw a lot of tantrums, although
she has on occasion. I don’t get a lot of attitude from her, although it has
happened. There’s rarely any open defiance.
She disobeys by dragging her feet, forgetting what she’s doing, telling
me that she’s tired and that the job is too hard.
That’s what happened yesterday. And that’s why she’s getting
spanked today.
First, sorry Lynda! We don't play this out too often...I'm the one who keeps us organized and I take initiative on the home stuff without his prompting. But, sometimes there are things I just can't do, that overwhelm me and I shut down. Can't quite explain it. This week it was making two simple doctor appointments. I couldn't get it done without the promise of a spanking. The fact that he had to step in and practically hand me the phone has really been bugging me, but it worked. Maybe I just have to do what he tells me to do when it gets hard and maybe that's okay. LOL, thanks for the mini therapy session Mick.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I just need a spanking; the attention, the connection, the focus, the warmth, and all that a spanking usually leads to. I would like to think that I don't purposely behave in a way that leads to a spanking rather than simply asking...but it seems that I do.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful that she will have her own little artist studio. What a luxury!
ReplyDeleteI do the drag my feet thing when I'm overwhelmed too.
Oh boy can I relate to this. The more mess there is, the less motivated about it I feel, the more agitated I become, mainly because I don't know where to start. I too have been in the position of being threatened with the consequences if the chaos isn't cleared and Mitch was just as reasonable (sorry Lynda) as you have been, as in, one step at a time, a box a day. The best of it was, once I started (because of said consequences lol, of course) I felt heaps better about it all, the mess became less, the agitation left and my motivation kicked in :) It was just all about making a start.
ReplyDeleteI'm the organizer, too, and I absolutely understand the feeling of deflation when I stand in front of it. One box a day is a great idea and I have tried that before, but when I start a project, I have an extreme drive to finish it...uninterrupted. It's more productive for me to plan one DAY (preferably with Jared b/c that's just fun) but I also work well alone. Sorry, Lynda! :(
ReplyDeleteSusie, we all have our issue that we don't want to face. And we all need some kind of motivation at times.
ReplyDeleteDonna, to purposely act in a way that leads to a spanking--maybe that isn't so bad.
Serenity, it really is a luxury and I'm looking forward to her enjoying it.
Dee, I feel like showing Lynda your comment and saying, "See? See?" But that wouldn't be a mark of maturity. ;).
Rogue, I'm with you. Get it done and out of the way. But I also understand that just doing something... anything one day at a time is also productive.
Hi, Mick,
ReplyDeleteI don't believe I've commented before, although I read fairly regularly and enjoy your posts. I guess it's a good time to delurk, in light of your last post? :)
I am more experienced than most in moving and unpacking, and I can relate to how Lynda must be feeling. Sometimes it is harder to motivate oneself after a break. I guess you lose the momentum? And the initial excitement of setting up the house is long gone.
That said, I have a feeling she won't complain too much about the consequence. Sometimes we make our choice with the full understanding of the consequence. It's just . . . worth it, I guess. At least it seems so, until we get otk. Spank-amnesia must be related to the kind we suffer about childbirth.
Hi Danielle, I think I've seen you around the blogosphere. I think you're right in that we lost the momentum of unpacking and we went right into the daily business of living.
ReplyDeleteShe didn't complain too much and she's already caught up today. and we're both in a better mood.
Follwing your blog has been a huge help for me to see things about myself, and to more openly talk with my man about things. That sometimes I do need some pushing. Even if pushing me makes me come out less happy then and there. My man is a very sweet and caring one. He likes to make me happy and he likes to keep me happy, he hates it if I am in discomfort or looking pouty, perhaps a minor flaw considering D/s o.O
ReplyDeleteBut I am lucky that he is like that, rather have one that is careful with pushes until he knows about all the booby traps, which has led to some halting in pushing from his side.
Hi Mick,I don't know if this will be helpful to you and Lynda, but I am incredibly busy on a lazy day.... at the moment I am working several jobs, all part time but adding up to between 91-105 hours a week without housework... so not getting much sleep, lol. SO, on a busy day, if I feel overwhelmed, I break down what I have to do into small chunks...specific "pieces" of the task... (instead of, tidy living room, I have pick up toys, vacuum, dust, tidy shelves, polish table, clean mirror, etc....) and tick off on the list as each little job gets done, which is encouraging because I can see the jobs getting marked off quicker. It only takes about 10 mins to make the list, which I do while making a coffee, because you need a coffee before starting all that! xxxxx
ReplyDeleteponderouspet, I'm glad it helps you help yourself. I don't like seeing Lynda pouty or in discomfort--but I'm learning to get over it and it sounds like your husband is too :).
ReplyDeleteDaisychain, wow that's a lot of hours. I think you're right to break down tasks into specific "pieces." it's what I'm trying to do with Lynda.
I totally agree with your point Mick. I actually am a very organized person and am the one who always wants the stuff up. When the house gets too messy, I start to panic and I get moody and my stress always ends up leading to a spanking. I just need to get it done and taken care of.
ReplyDeleteProblem in our house is that Dutch is the procrastinator and he feels guilty having me do stuff by myself, but doesn't want to do it himself. So what happens is he tells me not to do it right now and then we never get to it and then it piles up, I get stressed, have a meltdown, get spanked and end up just taking over and going like a train to fix it all.
Then...all is well.
So Lynda, please, your man is with you on this one. That is half the battle! Just go for it and get it all done!
Kelly
Kelly, there's usually one slob and one neatnic in a marriage, but when we were younger, we were both slobs! In the last few years as my career got more complicated and our kids started growing up, I just had enough and decided we had to get control of our lives. Lynda agrees in theory, but it's the practice where stumbles--but that's why I'm here to "help" her.
ReplyDeleteIt happens. I sure hope everybody's feeling better today! Sara
ReplyDeleteHi Sara. Yes, we're better.
ReplyDeleteUgh...I think I'm in trouble for the exact same thing tonight, from yesterday. I had the exact same um...explanation too. I told him I was tired. Yeah, the job did seem too hard, and I just didn't feel the motivation because I was focused on other things that were making me anxious. But bottom line, I gave up and didn't try like I should have.
ReplyDeleteAs usual, he's responding the same way you did. SIGH.
Kay, sorry you're in trouble and I hope things are better for you soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm the organiser...just back from a course that was an overnight stay and I left a spreadsheet of instructions on the fridge !! I worried that it was a little prescriptive but Peter said it just made him glad he did not have to do it every day.Sarah,LD,UK
ReplyDeleteSarah, I've never met you personally, but based on our online exchanges, I'm not at all surprised to hear that you're the organizer. Being away reminds people not to take you for granted, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteWow! I just shut down completely when I get overwhelmed like that. I guess I never really thought of it as something that could be helped by spanking. Poor JJ....he can hardly keep up w/ the spankings I earn, his arm would be worn out! Glad the two of you are in a better place today.
ReplyDeleteKady
Kady, you've described yourself in ways that seem exactly like Lynda. I hope you're doing well these days.
ReplyDeleteI get overwhelmed sometimes, by big jobs. It's hard for me to break them down..or I should say, I allow myself to be sidetracked by things decidingly more fun. That's more like it. He's very specific and I have a list..not a lot of wiggle room.
ReplyDeleteStill, it happens. I try to protest and argue..but I get worse. He prefers I admit where I went wrong and present him with a plan to get it done. Dang HOHs.
Glad all is well..now.